I was 13, I think.  So excited to be serving at the camp I grew up going to.  I worked in the kitchen because I was too young for other positions, but someday, I'm going to be a counselor just like the ones I had.  And then that happened.  His condemning voice echoed all through the dining hall in front of all of those kids and counselors as he yelled and made accusations that were not even close to true.  I begged to go to the kitchen to talk about it, but he insisted to publicly slice with his tongue.

At 17 I thought maybe I was being called to missions.  I had served at camps and had been overseas a couple of times and I was seriously exploring what my next steps in this avenue were.  I sought council from someone in leadership. I was told it would be best to let them support someone else now, I had my turn.

My first baby and things just aren't working out the way they should.  Overwhelming emotions and things just aren't fitting into place the way I had thought they would.  Nursing is a disaster (how on earth could that be when that's what God designed?)  and she says "if the women in Africa can do it, you can too.  They don't have the option to quit, their baby will die."

The kids are acting...well, I suppose like kids, but I've had enough of the chaos, tattling and complaints.  I blow.  The ivory bars that caged the fiery tongue opened and left in the wake are 4 kids, eyes wide and quiet.

There have been so many more great words spoken over me than bad, and for that I am so thankful.   I wish I could think of specific words of encouragement that have stuck as strongly as the others I mentioned so I could share them with you.

The purpose of all of this is:  Words.  Every one of them count.  They are packed with power.  Power to give life and power to cause death. Proverbs 18:21.  They are like a seed planted in a life.  Are we sowing weeds or seeds that will bear much fruit?  

I am the first to admit, I misuse words.  The result is never what I had hoped when I didn't use them with loving, careful thought.  James 3:2-10 talks about how we stumble in many ways and need to bridle our tongue like a horse, as it steers the whole body.  And like a large ship driven by strong winds, is guided by a very small rudder.  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

Those ugly times when people mess up and say things they shouldn't don't have to define us.  I know the words spoken over me didn't define me.  They left a little scarring to deal with, but thankfully I had parents, friends and others that reminded me who God says I am.

It is my hope that as I continue to walk close to the Lord, studying His word, applying his precious lessons and truth to my life that I will have more moments of life giving then causing death with my tongue.  Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Christian, give life with your words.  Be kind.  Build others up so it may benefit those who listen. Eph 4:8

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

This is who I want to be.  

Lessons from the Laundromat

The question I had to ask myself was "How bad a thump should the spin cycle make before I call a repair man?"  I decided I had reached that point.  Smoke filled the laundry room. Burnt rubber smell.  The verdict? Bad barrings.  Throw it away, the parts and labor are too expensive to fix.  Oh Goodie.

A week had gone by and I still hadn't decided what to do.  Buy used and cheap or new and expensive.  My hubby is headed to Haiti in 1 week, Christmas is around the corner.  What to do.

My Guy and I went to the Laundromat and washed all the clothes in 35 minutes.  Wow!  That was easy!  (I should mention that it was $22 to just wash them all, but hey, that was the fastest washing I had ever done!)  We hauled all the wet clothes home and one load at a time and 14 hours later, they were all dried and folded.

Week 2 of stillnowasher.  My husband is now in  Haiti.  6 baskets of clothing are needing washing and I'm no closer to having a washer than I was last week.  Dropped the kids off at school, loaded the baskets and headed to the Miracle Wash Store.  1 person occupied the Laundromat when I arrived.  They sat in their car.  It was all mine.  I loaded all the clothes, 5 washers full and off I sat to read my book.  Delight.

People started milling in. The clothes are all washed.  It took 14 hours to dry them all last time, I'd be crazy to do that again. I'll just dry them here today.  Most at least.  Pretty soon the place was really hopping.  Most people milling around not talking.  Except him.  I see him all the time.  I know who he is.  I'm not fully comfortable around him.  He has never done anything to me to make me feel that way,  I just felt that way and was ok with it.  He doesn't look like he's got much.  He's kinda messy looking.  I look down, away, around, pretty much anywhere but making eye contact with him.  I listen.  He knows almost everyone in this place.  They all know him. One by one he makes his way through the Laundromat talking to them. They are laughing with him.  He's loud.  But kind.  Asking everyone how they are and keeping in conversation with many.  Then he talks to me.  I bristle.  He identifies where he knows me from and keeps talking.  He's talking to me.  Why haven't I talked to him before? Am I too proud?  Too judgmental?  I see a side of me that I don't quite like.  Who do I think I am?

One load is dry. There's 11 minutes left on the dryer.  I look at a lady and say as much.  She was SO appreciative.  I'm a folding fool trying to get ahead of the other dryers.  She comes back and offers to fold clothes with me.  No, no, I couldn't allow her to do that.  Thanks anyway.  But she didn't leave.  She stayed right there talking to me about her son she was so proud of.  Her failed marriage.  Her brain aneurisms. Her surgery.  Her second change at life. She was precious. 5 baskets of laundry folded by this time and I've got myself an audience staring at how much clothing I had.  I wish the excuse of "there's 6 of  us" registered to someone.  The last basket is almost done.  I'm embarrassed at our abundance, so I don't bother with dishcloths and socks and I start lugging them to the van.  My 2nd trip in and she's at the door with a basket for me.  Then another.  All the way till the end.  She grabbed my arm.  Asked my first name (I can't believe it, I hadn't even told her my name or asked hers!) and said how good it was to talk with me.  She was kind.  More kind than my measly 11 minutes on the dryer. She conversed.  She was interested.   

I learned a lot about myself this solo trip to the Laundromat.  I came home and went through closets. We have been richly blessed.  We need to share more than we are. But I'm haunted at my lack of compassion for people.  My lack of kindness toward strangers.  I can hear my own voice reading to my own kids just a week ago Phillipians 2:3-4 "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too."

My kids won't learn a thing unless I believe what I read.  I learned some humbling lessons from the Laundromat. 

Thank you, Lord for a broken washer. Fill my heart with your loving kindness, compassion and grace.  I am ugly inside without your help.  Amen.

If You Don't Teach Them, Who Will?

A friend of mine told me after our first child that my mission field was my children.  I knew it, but I just didn't think it was enough.  I mean I had dreams to live.  Places to go.  Someone to be. Throw in a few more years and a few more kids and I certainly found out which someone I was going to be!  It was then that life seemed a little out of control.  4 kids.  Are you kidding me?  God, you trusted us with 4?!  That's when the view of our children became more than somebodies you have, they were gifts from the hand of God, so what are we going to do with these gifts?! 

If God is important to me, it is my job to impress His importance on my children. They ARE my mission field!

Deuteronomy 6:5-9  ⁵ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I take my roll as a mother very seriously.  I'm not even great at it...which means I'm definitely not claiming our children are perfect because they are not, (hang around for a bit, you'll see, we're normal. Usually a mess.) but God has given me a passion for raising my children to know the Lord and impact the world for Jesus. Even imperfect, He can use us.

Children impacting the world for Jesus. That is not something I can make them do.  It's not up to me to make sure they are being perfect and making perfect choices.  But it is up to me to do my part in telling them how good God is, what He has done, why they matter to Him, why He needs to matter to them, the importance of reading their bible and praying, staying close with Him, telling them Oh, How I Love Jesus and leave the rest up to God.  They need to know these things.

Your kids need to know these things.  We live in a generation that God is whomever you chose it to be...and that's not right.  There is ONE God who matters. One God who made a way to enter Heaven.  Only ONE who wanted you here and gave you life. No other god did that.

If your children (or you) don't have a cemented understanding of who God is, they will easily turn to the left or to the right.  Joshua 23:6  We need to exercise in the Word of God so we build spiritual muscle - so we can know who He is, what He has done and how to stand firm against the evil one. 

If you have chosen Him, you have a responsibility to teach your children about Him.  Don't take that lightly.  If you don't teach them, who will?

Joshua 24: 14-15 "Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness.....but if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.....but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Sometimes we need a different lens

The other day I was driving my kids home from a birthday party when I was struck by the beautiful sunset.  Orange, red, yellow, all surrounded by blue sky and a V shape of clouds pointing. 

I've been counting each gift from God I see, and this was definitely one to note.  Beautiful sunset pointing "this is the way".

I happened to have my camera with me but the beautiful sunset was cluttered by buildings, poles and wires, so I changed direction and went to a hill to try to capture it.  By the time we got to where I thought would be a great view, the sunset had changed.  It was hazy now, and greying fast.  I took the picture anyway knowing that it was a gift from God, I had noted it after all, so I was going to enjoy it anyway. 

I raised the camera, rested it on my cheek, my eyes focused as the lens extended my sight.  The canvas was amazing. Brilliant. Heart warming.  Reds, oranges, gold's.....a full color gift from God.  Who else can paint such a breathtaking picture?  Who else can take the greying of the world and make it vibrant and lovely?  Who else can give such heart warming gifts such as personalized painting just for me, yet anyone who looks up can enjoy it as well?  That's my God who can.  He can take the ordinary and make it extraordinary if we are willing to look. 

Life is hard, sometimes.  Sometimes uncertain.  Sometimes dull.  Sometimes it needs a different lens.  Not one you or I can produce, but one he can.  And if we will only look up with that lens on....you'll see a gift - one straight from God.   Count your blessings.  You'll be amazed of what He's given! 

What are we waiting for?

An answer, that's what.  The list of prayer requests seem unending.  Yours, mine, ours....We're in need of answers.  I've been relentlessly bringing them before the Throne of God asking, waiting, willing.  Health concerns, marriages, fears, people needing salvation, all worthy of time before the Lord.  I persist. 

I am thankful for His will.  His ways.  That He sees the big picture and I am privied to only part of it.
I am thankful for hard times.  For times when I have to drop to my knees and beg for strength.  It is in those times, I believe,  mountains are moved.  I search the scriptures - for nuggets of hope.  Tasting every word I read, looking for something, some word from Him.  I am where he wants me then.    Finding my strength from The Almighty.  He guides me in those times.  I have hope.  Excitement that My God is talking with me.  Sometimes showing me bits of  His plan.  Encouraging me to stay the course and stay in with Him.

I always find it curious how he changes my heart; steers me closer to his heart during these times.  My emotions and attitude flip as fast as a cupped book whose pages flip past the thumb.  I can hardly keep up with what He does in those times. I think that is what I love the most about our times together.  His ability to change the impossible. 

Anger mushes to tears by His loving words reminding me of what He is like, and I am to be like Him.  Sadness gives way to hope because He is able to do more than I could ever ask or hope for and he is my Comforter.  Loneliness and Not good enough are confronted and Truth tells me I am a daughter of the King and he chose me, sent His Son, Jesus, to die for my sins because He thinks I am worth something.  Lack of confidence is reminded that nothing is impossible with God and to keep my eyes open that I might not be deceived and hiding behind pride. 

I walk away from my time with the Lord renewed, invigorated, longing for more.  Thankful.  I serve the Almighty God whose plan was set in motion the day he breathed life into Adam.  He knew we'd mess up.  He knew we'd need a Savior.  He knows we still need Him now.  And He still lets me see a glimpse of what He's up to.  How exciting!!!  What are we waiting for?  Him.  Perfectly always, Him. 

It's a New Year, Today's a New Day. Let the Adventures Begin!

The anticipation of a new year has really intrigued me this year.  I've been thinking about what I should be focusing on this year as last year seemed a bit out of focus.  (I mean, I hardly was able to sit idle long enough to think about anything except meeting deadlines, work, making it to the kids sporting events or not forgetting something I - or my children - volunteered me for!) 

Thinking this through really drug me through some disappointing places.  Places that should have had higher priority ranking but instead, found I had put the more important areas of my life farther down on the list than they should have been.  I had succumbed to people pleasing, anger, and focused way too much on cleaning my house, (Which is a HUGE laugh in itself as I have 4 kids who could win awards for wreaking havoc on a clean home in only moments!) and not near enough attention on My Lord, My Husband or My Children.  **Insert Sigh**

The great part is that It's a New Year, Today's a New Day!

I get excited when I get something new.   New pens - UH!  How I love new fancy medium point pens! Smooth in delivery, no goopy puddles of ink, rich in color and the ones with a grippy handle...those are the best!  A new jacket is another - doesn't happen often, so when it's finally time to upgrade, man, it's exciting!  A new bible thrills me!  It's like a brand new word search.....I get to underline all of those passages that mean so much to me all over again.  And so I'm feeling this same way with this brand new year ahead of me.  I get to have new goals to aim at.  I get to shift my priorities again to get them where they should be.  I get a clean start with each new day. 

As this New Year takes off, I know I have to do some things differently so the same pattern doesn't occur from last year.  The crazy part is, we all are living life and some things we can't necessarily change.  At least not right at this moment.  But I think if we are honest with each other, we all have areas that could be tweaked so that our priorities lay in the right order.  As for the goal we're aiming at this year, I can't quite see clearly what mine looks like yet,.  I was reminded this morning when I spent some time with God, that "We don't know specifically what next week, or eternity will look like.  We are moving toward destinations we cannot see 'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'  2 Corinthians 5:7.  Walking by faith means seeing life differently: trusting the God we cannot see (1 Peter 1:7-8) for that which He has yet to reveal."  Dr. David Jeremiah

I especially love what John Blanchard had to say about walking by faith:

"Walking by faith means being prepared to trust where we are not permitted to see." 

I just need to take one day, one hour, one moment at a time.  Keeping it in check.  Remembering my priorities.  God, Husband, Children, lotsofothergreatthings.  Asking God to direct me each step of the way.  In faith. 

I hope you can take a moment and review your past year.    What are you aiming at for this year?  What's got to change?  Let the Adventures Begin!

Maybe I need to get frustrated a little more often!

My house is always under construction.  It's both the pleasure and detriment of being married to a carpenter.  I get a house worked on for cookies but I get a prolonged mess because it is when he's available and not exhausted.  I know I'm not the only one out there, you know what I'm talking about. 

Saturday, My handsome hunk put some finishing touches on our dining room sheetrock so it could be painted.  I was so excited.  We bought the paint, he slapped it on.....it looked sooo good.  Just in time for a birthday party the next day. 

Then Monday came.  He saw flaws.  (uh, great, a carpenter that is a perfectionist....;)) 
So, he slapped more mud on the walls.  Ruined paint.  White dust everywhere. 

By night's end, he did manage to get the room back to one solid color.  :)  But the dust....we are enemies.  I've seen it invade our home wayyyyy too many times. 

Ever hear the passage from Proverbs 21:19?  It says "it is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife."  I think this could apply at times in our house...my poor husband. 

I decided that there is no time like the present to start spring cleaning, so I searched the Internet for a guide to help me and lookie what I found?! 

AskAnna had a great checklist for me to follow and I couldn't help but want to share.  For a printable copy, click here.

 

Thanks Anna! 

 

I'm attacking this with a vengeance!  I will get you, white dust!  (Maybe I need to get frustrated a little more often!)